I agree that the item(s) she received in exchange as payment for her photography services, it's fine if she wants to resell them, but she should make that known up front. I do mention when discussing trades that I have the right to do what I want with items I receive in trade. However, I personally don't feel it is right to resell items that someone else made. Perhaps if I ended up with a large number of similar items, since I have a boy, I would give them to friends with daughters or eventually sell them. I just have a little bit of an ethical issue reselling something that wasn't made by me, so it would be a last resort.
However, I don't think that it is right that the photographer is using the photo taken of your item to sell numerous similar items made by her. Each person makes things differently. That is no different than stealing someone's photo to use as a "reference example photo". The photographer shouldn't have any problems photographing their own items and using those photos to sell their items. Makes me wonder what the quality of their items looks like. I would think it might be better if you found a different photographer to work with for future items. I'm not sure what they are doing is right.
As for the main photo, it sounds like it was a photo with a collaboration of items and I don't think that is so much of an issue. It would be the same as using a photo for one of your items that showed that item off really well, but the model was also wearing several other botiuque items as well in the same photo. As long as she is not claiming all of the items were made by her in the main photo, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
In the end, unless the photographer gave you the copyrights to the images, which is very rare unless you pay a hefty price for it, they are able to use the photos however they want unfortunately, right or wrong. I would say find a photographer who's ethics are more in line with yours, there are plenty of them out there.